Why I Say Thank You to My Husband

I’ve been thinking about this post for a while now. Every time I read a post that belittles someone’s contribution to the family, I’m upset. Often it’s straight up husband bashing. We need to stop. There’s an important reason why I say thank you to my husband. Maybe you should, too?

Just Because I Get Up in the Night Doesn’t Mean I Deserve Praise is the most recent post that didn’t sit right with me. The daddy blogger came to the conclusion that because marriage is a partnership he shouldn’t expect a pat on the back for doing his part. And maybe he shouldn’t expect the praise, but should his wife give him the praise? I think so.

Marriage is a partnership. Yes. We all have our roles to play. I’m the one that gets up in the night with our kids. I’ve never expected my husband to take a turn. He does plenty of other things to “help out around the house.” That’s a phrase that apparently bothers many people. They think it undermines the wife’s contribution by saying this is your job – I’m just helping you out this time. I don’t like the phrase either but for a different reason. It undermines the husband’s contribution. It says I (the wife) take care of this all by myself, but thanks for helping out this one time. Both viewpoints ignore the partnership piece.

So if we’re both in this together, why should I say thank you?

Because that’s what he needs to hear.

 

My husband’s primary love language is words of affirmation. Words of appreciation, praise, and encouragement mean a lot to him. It’s the way he feels loved. Saying thank you is just one way I can tell him how I feel and let him know that I appreciate him.

Words of affirmation is not one of my love languages. I had to learn that words really do mean a lot. I had to learn to give praise and encouragement to my husband.

Saying thank you is a normal part of our every day. If my husband makes dinner, the kids and I say thank you to him. If I make dinner, my husband and the kids say thank you to me. If we make dinner together, we still thank each other. It’s just something we do. I say thank you for emptying the dishwasher, thank you for giving our son a bath, thank you for cleaning the bathroom – these are all things that my husband does on a regular basis. Yet, I still say thank you to him.

Do I like to hear thank you? Yes. Do I need to hear thank you. No. For me, actions speak louder than words. My primary love language is acts of service. I feel loved when someone does something for me. My husband had to learn the importance of this just as I had to learn the importance of words for him.

Should you say thank you to your spouse? If his or her love language is words of affirmation, then most definitely. Use words that build up not tear down.

Thank you for reading today.